Learning to Love the Body You’re In

For many of us, learning to accept and love our bodies is a gradual process — one that unfolds over time. From an early age, we’re surrounded by messages about what our bodies “should” look like. We hear adults criticize their weight, talk about diets, and wish they looked different. As kids, we absorb it all. Later, the media reinforces those same beliefs with endless images of “ideal” bodies that rarely reflect reality.

Eventually, we grow tired of letting others define our worth. That’s often when something shifts — when we begin to understand that beauty has never been about perfection, size, or hair texture. True beauty is about who we are and how we inspire others to feel.

If you’re on a journey toward body acceptance, here are a few steps that might help you along the way:

1. Practice body gratitude regularly.

When was the last time you paused to truly appreciate your body — not for how it looks, but for all it does? We get so caught up in our to-do lists that we forget our bodies are the very reason we can move, work, love, and live.

Try taking a few minutes each day to thank your body for carrying you through life. You might even explore a Body Gratitude Meditation to deepen that awareness. Notice how you feel before and after — not just about your body, but about yourself.

2. Make a list of things you like about yourself that have nothing to do with your body.

Ask yourself: What makes me, me?
What qualities do others appreciate in you?

Are you thoughtful, caring, funny, intuitive, or creative? Do you give great advice, tell hilarious stories, or remember the little details that make people feel seen?

Now think of someone you find difficult or draining. Would you want to be stuck in an elevator with them for 13 hours — even if they were “good-looking”? Probably not. Proof that looks aren’t everything.

3. Check in with how you feel — not just how you look.

Body confidence often reflects how we feel in our bodies. When we move our bodies, eat nourishing foods, rest well, and practice self-care, we tend to feel lighter, stronger, and more grounded — and that naturally changes how we see ourselves.

Think about it like having a crush: when we’re infatuated, everything feels exciting, bright, and full of possibility. What if we could create a version of that energy for ourselves — by investing in things that make us feel alive, connected, and content?

Instead of fixating on “flaws,” focus on what brings joy: movement, art, meaningful relationships, laughter, or hobbies that make you lose track of time.

4. Remember: You are more than the sum of your body parts.

As Tara Brach beautifully puts it, you are not just the waves you fixate on — you are the entire ocean.

You are not your perceived imperfections. You are a complex, whole, vibrant human being with talents, dreams, beliefs, and depth. Your body is simply the vessel that carries that magic.

5. Pay attention to the company you keep.

Emotions are contagious — and so are habits. The people we spend time with often influence how we see ourselves.

Take a look around your social circle: Do your friends uplift and encourage you, or do they criticize and compare? Do they practice self-compassion, or are they caught in cycles of self-criticism?

Surround yourself with people who help you feel grounded, joyful, and authentic. The energy you keep matters more than you might think.

6. Tune into your inner dialogue.

Self-talk shapes our emotional world. It’s the voice we hear most — the one narrating our days, critiquing our reflection, or cheering us on.

Pause and notice how you speak to yourself, especially during moments of stress or when looking in the mirror. Are you kind and compassionate, or critical and harsh?

Changing how you talk to yourself can transform how you feel in your own skin. Imagine what might shift if you spoke to yourself the way you speak to someone you love.

7. Wear clothes that help you feel good now.

This can be tough, especially when you’re not feeling confident in your body. But waiting until you “lose the weight” or “look better” before you allow yourself to feel good is a trap.

When we hide under baggy clothes or deprive ourselves of things that make us feel comfortable or confident, we reinforce the belief that we’re not worthy yet.

Remember: it’s hard to change your body when you’re at war with it. Hate isn’t a sustainable motivator — it just deepens the divide. Instead, choose clothes that make you feel comfortable and empowered today.

Ask yourself: Is the way I’m treating my body aligned with how I want to feel in it?

8. Put media images on trial — not yourself.

As a teenager, I loved The O.C. but also felt crushed that my body didn’t look like the women on screen. I compared myself endlessly, convinced I was less attractive and less worthy. What I didn’t realize was that I was comparing myself to older women with completely different genes, frames, and professional stylists.

Add to that the photoshopped, filtered images plastered across social media and magazines, and it’s no wonder our self-image suffers.

Now, I’ve learned to pause and ask: Is this image real? Is it healthy for me to compare myself to this? The more we question what we see, the less power it has over us.

9. Get out of your head and into your life.

It’s easy to get lost in our thoughts, especially those rooted in fear or self-doubt. But when we engage with the world — walk the dog, play an instrument, meet a friend, explore a hobby — our focus shifts from what we look like to how we live.

Life is happening right now. Don’t miss it by staying stuck in your head.

10. Take care of yourself — really.

Before “self-care” became a buzzword, I remember a friend asking how I practiced it. After a long pause, I said, “I shower.” (Spoiler: that wasn’t enough.)

Now I know self-care isn’t indulgent — it’s essential. It’s how we remind ourselves that we’re worthy of rest, pleasure, and kindness.

Self-care looks different for everyone, but the result is the same: when we care for ourselves, we strengthen the relationship we have with our bodies and our lives.

Loving your body isn’t about achieving perfection — it’s about building a relationship with yourself that’s rooted in compassion, respect, and gratitude. And like any relationship, it takes time, patience, and care.