When Your Thoughts Lie to You: How to Spot and Stop Cognitive Distortions

The human mind is a wondrous — and tricky — thing. It can be our greatest sanctuary or our own personal hell… or somewhere in between (limbo, anyone?).

Our inner world is shaped by many factors: our core beliefs (those deep-seated ideas about ourselves, others, and the world), automatic thoughts (the ones that pop up without invitation), past experiences, judgments, assumptions, morals, values, needs, and desires. All of these combine to color how we interpret the world around us.

But here’s the catch: our perception of reality isn’t always accurate.

We all view life through mental filters, often called cognitive distortions — thought patterns that twist how we see ourselves and our experiences. Think of them like a funhouse mirror: they reflect something real, but the image is distorted. Through these filters, we don’t see situations as they truly are; we see them through a skewed lens.

How Filters Shape Our Reality

These filters decide what information we notice, what we ignore, and what meaning we attach to things. Filtering is necessary — our brains can’t process everything at once — but it becomes a problem when those filters are inaccurate (based on assumptions or emotions rather than facts) or outdated (rooted in old experiences that no longer apply).

The goal isn’t to shut down our thoughts — it’s to become aware of them.
When we notice distorted thinking, we shift from autopilot to awareness. That space lets us separate who we are from what our mind is saying. With practice, we can take our thoughts less personally and treat them as hypotheses, not truths.

Examining our thoughts with curiosity rather than judgment opens up new possibilities. Life rarely needs to be “all or nothing” or “doom and gloom.” There are shades of gray — and freedom lies in seeing them.

Common Cognitive Distortions (a.k.a. Mental Fun-House Mirrors)

Below are some of the most common thought distortions.
As you read, notice which ones sound familiar. Awareness is step one in clearing away the smoke and mirrors — and not letting your mind run the show.

All-or-Nothing Thinking

Seeing things in extremes — black or white, success or failure, all good or all bad. Words like always, never, everything, or nothing often show up here.
Example: “You never listen to me!”

Overgeneralization

Assuming that one bad experience guarantees a future pattern.
Example: “That date went terribly. I’ll never have a good one.”

Catastrophizing

Expecting the absolute worst-case scenario — and reacting as if it’s already happening.
Example: “They’re making budget cuts… I’m definitely going to get fired.”

Mental Filter

Focusing only on the negative parts of a situation while ignoring the positive.
Example: Thinking only about the 30 minutes you spent stuck in traffic, not the four hours you spent laughing with friends.

Discounting the Positive

Downplaying your accomplishments or strengths.
Example: “I only got that job because I was lucky.”

Jumping to Conclusions

Making assumptions based on emotions or judgments rather than facts.
Example: “I’m taking too long on this — it’s going to be a total failure.”

Mind Reading

Assuming you know what others are thinking about you without evidence.
Example: “They must think I sounded so stupid just now.”

Fortune-Telling

Predicting a negative outcome before it happens — without any proof.
Example: “I can just tell things won’t change.”

Magnification / Minimization

Exaggerating your mistakes or minimizing your achievements.
Example (Magnification): “I made a typo — I ruined the whole report!”
Example (Minimization): “Sure, I got the promotion… but it’s not that big of a deal.”

Emotional Reasoning

Believing that because you feel something, it must be true.
Example: “I feel like a terrible person, so I must be one.”

‘Should’ Statements

Placing unrealistic expectations on yourself or others, often leading to guilt or shame.
Example: “I should be farther along in life by now.”

Labeling

Defining yourself by your mistakes instead of seeing them as isolated events.
Example: “I made a mistake” turns into “I am a mistake.”

Personalization

Taking responsibility for things that have nothing to do with you.
Example: Assuming someone’s bad mood is your fault when they’re simply having a rough day.

Putting It All Together

If you struggle with depression, anxiety, or both, take a closer look at which distortions fuel those feelings.
Depression and anxiety often work like a loop — thoughts, emotions, sensations, and behaviors feeding into one another.

How do your thoughts influence your emotions and actions?
Which distortions keep that cycle turning?

Try drawing out your loop on paper — sometimes visualizing it helps you see the patterns more clearly. Remember, we can’t change what we’re unaware of. When in doubt, draw it out.